Three years ago at 3:02 pm, my firstborn came into the world. I will remember that day forever just as vividly as when it happened, but for everyone who wasn’t there and cares to read, I chronicled the whole experience in a very long entry in my old journal: September 11, 2006.
And, in a small celebration of my little man making it a full three years, I am reposting a cute little list of “stuff boys do”. I originally put this in my old journal when Jeremy was almost six months old (Thank Heaven For Little Boys), now I’m going to bold the few items that he has managed to complete in his short three years. I can only shudder to think how many of these things he will have accomplished in the next three years.
You find out interesting things when you have sons, like ..
- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
- If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
- A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. We learned this one with a small super bouncy ball. Thank goodness it wasn’t a baseball.
- The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
- A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
- Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
- Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
- Super glue is forever.
- No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
- VCR’s do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
- Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. While not quite the same, we learned a very similar lesson involving quarters in the car air conditioning vents.
- You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. Toddler barf in the corner of the room. The kid can now move on his own, so he leaves “presents” in hidden places much like a cat who leaves hairballs in closets and shoes.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. Ah, yes. We’ve lost quite a few miniature race cars and Mommy’s wooden and plastic kitchen utensils to the broiler.
- The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
- It will, however, make cats dizzy.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
- 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids. Hahaha, yes, I’ve passed it on twice now. 🙂
- 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Happy birthday little man, my Mister Blue. I’ll talk to you on the phone later and I can’t wait to see you on Sunday! Mommy loves you!